oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
