So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
