but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
