Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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