we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
