That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
