Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
