Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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