and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize