put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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