Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
