If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
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Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
