I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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