she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
