I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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