That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
