you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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