Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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