kristin has been a bad kristin
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
