He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
