i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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