OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Randomize