I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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