wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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