but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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