if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize