i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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