I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize