i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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