i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
