I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
