i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
