Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
