I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize