um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
