i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
