Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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