His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
