I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
