new low.... made out with someone while peeing
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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