the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
