you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
