is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
