Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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