It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
