Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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