OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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