Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
