Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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