Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
