I wanna passion pit in your ass
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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