he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
