Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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