i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
