why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
